Prestidigitation

I don't need this
I don't need
this.
I don't need this.
I don't.

I don't need another problem to pollute
the skies of my body.
I don't need you to diagnose illness and give me
another pill
to swallow.
I don't need sanity or mental illness,
or even the failed organs within.

I don't need belief.
There is much too much doubt for faith anymore.
I don't need to be a
Post-modern Jesus
or even a regular-joe chameleon.
I don't need the ability TO change because
the change itself is more important.

I don't need to be awful
in an awful world
with awful people doing
awful things.
I don't need to be blind to injustice
and atrocity in life.
I don't need to be a better person.

I don't need to be victim, victimized, or
victor.
I don't need to be special
or beautiful or failed
or perfect or flawed.
I don't need another hollow emotion.

I don't need to hurt. It really
isn't worth it.
I don't need the committing of suicide
because the committing TO suicide is far worse.
I don't need your colors, and smells
or even the intersection of
your accident.

I don't need someone to read this,
nor do I care
if they do.
I don't need a better life, and
I don't need life's shit.
I don't need to care, but for some reason,

I do.